Disclamer! I tell you now... Nope, this content will not tell you what to do or what not to do. I intend to write it for myself as my first ever (public) journey to self-realization. If somehow, someway, it helped you too, I would love to read about it.
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During the holidays, I did a major cleaning session of my room and, as you usually encounter when scouring old stuffs, I found an old notebook of mine that contains a handwritten essay of my thoughts (then)... and it reminded me of how I would lead myself to writing when I feel like expressing my scrambled mind. And I have been itching to write again in the past weeks. Not just writing about some person or place but trying to get into me. I am currently having a scrambled mind... and heart. And I'm itching to understand it and write about it.
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| Finding thy self is like finding the light from within. |
I decided to read a self-help book about loving yourself*. Note, I have never read any self-help books before, just some articles about "10 ways to not get yourself into trouble" and the likes, which most FB users probably read on their feeds at least once a week. And by the way, since I decided to focus on me, I have already deactivated my FB account. I believe that FB lets you focus more about your "friends" lives... their lives not yours.
Back to the book. I have just finished reading the first chapter of the book and I can't help crying (like a wolf). And I think there will be lots of crying reading this book.
I am reminded of how much my parents loved and cared for me... but most importantly, how much God, as our Almighty Father, loves us. I have been doing PopeWatch this week too like the rest of the Filipinos and this has been Pope Francis' core message. I think this message never really sinks in until you need it the most. And at this moment, when I feel most uncertain of my life, of a person close to my heart, and of my self, it struck me... I need the certainty of God's love.
"My plan for your future has always been filled with hope." - Jeremiah 29:11
"Because I love you with an everlasting love." - Jeremiah 31:3
This is an excerpt of the Father's love letter which you can read in full here. And I strongly suggest that you read it. I will probably be reading this more and more and more until it gets into the deepest core of my heart and carries with me in every step I make.
I will end this chapter with this:
"This is our true identity. Knowing who we truly are --- children of God --- we become our true selves. We begin to love ourselves...When we start loving ourselves as our Father loves us, we can start giving true love that is not needy, not clingy, not expecting anything in return --- the kind of love that heals not only ourselves, but also our families." - Marjorie Duterte
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* The book that I'm currently reading is "Loving Yourself (As God Loves You)" by Marjorie Duterte. I bought this book a couple of weeks ago... I guess, my subconscious was trying to tell me that my heart and soul needs healing.
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